What is a Bikini Body?

Many of us women agonize over having a "bikini body" but really what is that? Is there some universal stereotype for what a bikini body should look like? I have seen several Facebook post and had several conversations with some of the most gorgeous women who are intimidated to put on a two piece.

My answer is, if you want to wear it, it comes in your size, then you my friend..Have a Bikini Body!

Now that being said, the comes in your size part. (I have stated before I DO NOT support the I am Fat and Proud movement.  It's not healthy. That is a debate for a completely different blog.) If your string to your string bikini is lost somewhere in your spare tire. IT IS NOT YOUR SIZE! I have spent the majority of my life being uncomfortable in my skin. I wouldn't even call it comfortable now, my body and I are just starting to be cozy! Yet, I have mostly always worn some type of bikini, tankini, monokini.
Even now I get all insecure to take off the cover up at the pool. I have stretch marks from my chin to my toes! I have just decided they look better with a tan so they are going to see the sunshine!

I am not a size zero, I have been really close before I started lifting but I will tell you I drastically like my reflection at 125lbs more than I did and 114 lbs and a size 1! This body made multiple humans, has battled disease, survived surgeries, and it's about time I gave it credit for all it's been through. Reward your body, stop punishing it. Just don't reward it with food, try a new swimsuit, a lawn chair and a beach!

Happy Chasing

H

Death by Legs

Heavy Leg Day! 

Either you just shuttered in fear or rejoiced. There isn't an in-between here!

Against my better judgement I chose to do this on a Monday. See Monday evening at my gym are full of people who slacked all weekend and are ready to crawl back on the wagon. Thus I usually use it as my rest day. But I was a raging{INSERT CURSE WORD OF CHOICE HERE} so I really needed to go. 

 but standing in line.....

When I say Heavy Leg Day, this is NOT my max out day. I don't do those that often and only when my hunny is with me. I love my workout buddy to death but she is the same size and me and truth be told I don't trust she can get 420 lbs off of me if I fail!For those of you cardio junkies, my other leg day burned 713 calories. This leg day burned 737 and my heart rate stayed elevated for 23 minutes longer than my other leg day. Yesterday I did cardio and abs for a solid hour.. Only burned 416 calorie.. LIFT THEM WEIGHTS!! Start at a medium weight for the first set and then go up to about as heavy as you know you can go and still complete the reps. Be sure and keep form, just cause your lifting like the Hulk doesn't mean you can break proper form. Broken butts are not fun people!

Warm up: 10 Minutes of Cardio

Sissy Squats w/medicine ball 3 sets 10

Dumbbell Step Ups (3 sets 10 each leg)- 

Pick up the heaviest dumbbells you can and still be able to hold balance.

Dumbbell Squats (10 wide 10 narrow)- 

Don't do these fast, low & slow! Make sure and keep proper form.

Bar Squats- (10 traditional, 10 front)

Use a barbell, in the rack out of the rack, smith machine whatever you choose!

Deadlifts- (10 reps)

Straight leg, again do it solo or in a rack or smith machine however you like to do them.

Walking Lunges- (Dumbbell 16 reps)

Be sure on your heavy set to not topple over. 

I end this with Calf Exercise. I have to save them for last because once I burn them out I can't walk anymore let alone squat! I do 3 Set then some body weight stretching to make sure I can still walk to my car! Today's was 80,100,120

That was my Heavy Leg Day! If you are dying from pain I suggest you look up some exercises on rolling out with a foam roller. Guys no matter how girly you think this is.. It is heaven afterwards! 

This video is a great example! 

Happy Chasing

H

Abs are not made in the Dough Boy's Kitchen!

 Welp- Guess what, I can't eat whatever I want no matter how hard I train. It really didn't take me 9 weeks to figure out. I would say it took me 9 weeks of stubborn arguing with myself to get over it! I don't have any measurements or weigh in checks for the first time EVER. I made it a point to judge solely off appearance. I did finally weigh and I Lost 3lbs from my March date. Which was shocking because I feel like I put on a 100lbs. I stuck to a 90% clean diet for 9 weeks. Teacher Appreciation Week nearly killed me. When you work in the office of a elementary school you are the main drop off for all things junk food related. I didn't give in every day but you can only turn down Olive Garden and fresh donuts so many times before they start calling your name! I also had several orthodontist visits this last month that then took my diet in the opposite direction, strictly liquid for 4 days.. YUCKO! But over all I am starting to see some abdominal shredding so I will keep at it, bread I have learned to live without, however I tried to be Paleo for a whole 6 hours and then I had to have some cheese! 

As I hit the first official pool day of the year I was being rather hard on myself because I think I could/should have done better. Whenever I tend to bully myself I find it's time to look back and give a pat on the back for where we came from. It's easy to forget what the reflection in the mirror used to look like instead of that I don't see Megan Fox in my current reflection. So if you follow me on IG (@thehaileyd) I gave a description when I posted this. 

Photo1 /Aug 2011- The day I decided I was disgusted with myself and had to make a change. I have ZERO self esteem and 100% self hate!

Photo 2- After fixing photo one and about 40 lbs later, I had to have major surgery with a 12 week downtime due to my Endometriosis aka the black plague of my life.

The last two are recent photos obviously :)

Last but very not least: Probably one of the most important progress photo's I have ever taken.

Now the Nay Sayers of the world will say it's cosmetic, I am NOT against cosmetic procedures IF it is something you can NOT change. I have HATED my smile for the majority of my life. I have been teased and made fun of for it by more people than I can count. I have had small kids point it out and a few rude little kids I would like to punt like a football. So I am changing it. How you feel if every time you laughed or smiled a part of you cringed? YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO SMILE! What's a world without smiling and laughing! So now I have been called brace face & metal mouth only 20 to 50 times, I am sure that will go up! But I am dealing, it's worth it in the end right?!? and No pain no gain..

In the words of my favorite fish.. Just Keep Swimming!

Happy Chasing

H

This Is How We Do It!

First off, if you didn't sing Montell Jordan in your head when you read that title, 

than SHAME ON YOU!

Back to the matter at hand. For some reason I have been getting lots of questions lately. Why people seem to think I am appropriate to ask these I have no clue but I do  always offer my semi-educated opinion and always personal experience insight.

Question One- "How do you do it,get started to lose weight?"

Well all I can tell you is that is up to you. You have to be so completely done with your reflection that you are willing to do what you have to so that it will change. This has to be a deep conversation with yourself. You need to weigh in all your options. Why do you need to do this? Is the question you have to ask yourself and you need to answer it honestly. If you give more than 5 excuses as to why you "can't" then you are not ready. Sure you might lose weight but keeping it off has to be your end game. 

Question two- "How to you keep it off?"

Well it is a lifestyle change. You hear people say that all the time and it sounds really trivial but it is honestly the truth. You have to change. Which is hard for most of us. Habits are hard things to break, especially if you have negative influences around you. I know for a fact that people who knew me 5 years ago probably think I am bat shit cray cray. I didn't work out, I drank excessively, dang sure didn't go to the gym. Eating clean meant ordering one cheeseburger instead of two. I hear remarks, see comments written on social media and get snickers when I walk into certain conversations. Point being the feeling you get when you notice your hard work paying off it worth every second of it. 

Question three- "How do you stay dedicated?"

Especially with the last thing mention in question two, dedication is a tricky little devil. For me, most day it comes in waves. I am a textbook emotional eater. With small everyday stress, I would and still sometimes do eat junk. Yet, with heavy stress I don't eat at all. Both are equally terrible for you. So I do my very best to reprogram my mind into going about it a different way.This for That rule. I want a recces cup instead I will have some chocolate peanut butter jif with an apple. I still get my sweet fix without the senselessness of the candy.  If a trainer or even an IFBB pro wants to tell you they never fall, they are feeding you a complete load of BULL! Everyone falls, has a cheat meal, has a off weak. Life will happen, routines get broken, illness arises, little things will come up to knock you off your game. Best thing you can do is go get a good night sleep and start all over again tomorrow. 

Question four- "Where do I begin with exercising?"

Welp, for this answer I suppose you need to know what you want from your body. This is a really hard question. One I didn't quite know myself until recently. My idea of what I wanted was jumbled into a bipolar hot mess of main stream cosmo ideas. I have been asked point blank and answered all over the board. Until a couple weeks ago I was in the middle of a set and someone offered me some advice on a better approach. He followed with only if you want real tri's and not tiny toned ones. My off the top, no thinking about it response was... I don't care about having skinny arms. I want big girl arms! I care about being fit. I have zero desire to be skinny anymore.  I read a IG post about being toned not being actually possible. I believe it. Toned is not a NOUN it is a VERB!

So that is the level I am at now. I want to be a buff, bad @SS B****!

Now everyone in the fitness world as their own opinion on exercise vs weightless. Some will tell you hit the weights out the door and some will tell you not to at all. 

+Kelly Fuston  wrote a great blog about this that I agree 110% about.

Fat Loss before Lean Mass Gain

If you get lost on exercise lane, my philosophy is Fake it till ya Make it! As long as you are doing something you are better than someone who is doing nothing. Get up and get your cardio on. Everyone knows how to walk, it is where most people start. If you don't have a treadmill than grab a kid, grab a dog, sit on a bike or take a hike (Channeling my inner Dr. Sueus there) any who get to moving.  There are many different types of cardio, find one that you hate the lease. I don't say enjoy because when I started I hated everything. Find a buddy or take a class. Power is in numbers. I

f someone is there to tell you good job and keep going when you want to give up success will come easier.

I could go on for hours on working out, lifting weights, and avoiding cardio(because I do avoid it because I hate it) I am always open to questions and comments feel free to PM me! 

Tomorrow is a great place to start

Happy Chasing

H

Eat clean, Train EH?

One week down of cleaning up my diet. I had a few "dirty" moments this week but for the most part I did rather well. Wednesday was the biggest test of all. I work at an elementary school, which is the worlds largest cesspool of junk food you will ever see. This week brought on a birthday party, with chips and salsa and cupcakes from my favorite bakery. That is just the tip of the ice berg! You name it and it was probably in there. The last time we had one of these I dove straight into the sea of chocolate and rowed right up the river of denial. Denying that it was going to affect me at all!  This go round I managed to only slip into the wading pool aka some whole wheat crackers and cheese. I took fruit and pb to hopefully aid in my sweet tooth getting the best of me and it did!

I actually made it all week on regular ice tea. It's hasn't been too terrible either. My only other major slip was alcohol. I don't get out that often and I had a girls trip to the Thunder game. I stuck to vodka to keep the empty calories as low as possible. So while I woke up feeling like poo, I didn't have to hate myself at the same time. 

I don't think there is an easy way to just cold turkey into the perfect diet. Unless you have someone prepping and planning for you I think it is a giant trial and error ordeal. I now know while I ate clean all week I need to tweak my type of carbs and proteins. I was dead tired when it came to my workouts. This was also a week where my other half left out for a long hitch so my sleep patterns have been very sporadic. I am going to switch it up this week to see if it helps. 

 Which brings me to the topic of supplements! It's a edgy subject in the fit world. Some do and some don't and the in-between people like me get pulled on like a tug rope! I am posting a picture of my stack below. That being said, sometimes I use them all and sometimes I don't. I use a pre-workout when I know I don't have it in me to give my best. Remembering I am in surgical induced pre-menopause. Some days my body thinks it is 29 and some days it thinks it's 92! On the 92 days I need the umph! I have tried tons on the market. Some days I like the pump and some days I like the sweat. Just depends on what I am working and my mental/physical state that day. I take a vitapak almost everyday. My newest supplement is Amino support. I have done a lot of reading on amino's and the uber helpful guy at ASN in OKC recommended the MusclePharm Amino's. I also have protein for shakes. I mostly use them for days when my diet is lacking or an after workout recovery. Taste is at the top of my important list for protein. If it is nasty in taste, I can't force it down. Cinnamon Bun Combat Powder is FABULOUS! I also like the combat because it has casein in it, which is a slow release protein so it last in your system longer. I have tried just regular casein before bed and it all taste so horrible I spend the next two hours gagging instead of sleeping. So combat works great for my needs right now. 

I no longer use protein shake to replace meals but I have before don't get me wrong. It is about knowing what you want out of your goals. I am not in "weight loss mode" anymore. In fact it has almost been a month since I stepped on the scale (I have stepped on one, I just didn't look. I let the trainer look to figure my BMI & BF%) That has been tough. I had become so obsessed with the number that I lost site of the fact that my body shape is the goal not a number in a box. Below is my starting stats. Trying not to have a panic attack over those thigh measurements. EEK! Squatting does a body good right?

Happy Chasing Readers!

H

Clean it up

I was reading a blog about pushing past your greatest obstacles. I know without a doubt that my greatest obstacles are my emotions. There are days when I let them rule me and everything in my life.  I am always my worst critic and never my greatest supporter.

   How do I push past that?

Well I don't know yet but I am going to give it everything I have to do it.

Tomorrow marks 9 weeks until our summer break. I have been killing myself in the gym every free second of time I have the past couple weeks. I have finally fallen in love with the gym. Don't get me wrong, I still don't like the workout. However, I love to let all the tension, stress, and daily yuck out! It is an instant mood improver. Aside from being a working mom, I am an oilfield mom which means for weeks at a time I am a single parent and not by choice. 

So sweating it out keeps mommy a little closer to sanity! 

It took months to get over my gym fear. I know so many of us avoid it because we are afraid;of being judged, of not knowing what to do, or flat out insecurity. I was all of the above, some I still am.

My solutions to gym fears:

• Get through the door it's the hardest part. 

• Ear buds, drown out the outside world and focus on you. Eventually you will find you don't need to.

• Get a buddy, this to me has been the most beneficial thing. Someone to help you stay on task, commiserate with,celebrate with and bounce ideas off.

• Make sure it is someone with the same goal set in mind as you. I am pretty sure my gymrat buddy keeps me going long after my head says go home! Even though she runs circles around me.

• Ask! Don't be afraid to ask people questions. Most gym goers are happy to give input even if they look like a douche-canoe!

• Most importantly- laugh at yourself! Example:Yesterday my set called for single arm machine preacher curls. I couldn't even lift the bar let alone add weight to it. As those creepy failure thoughts crept into my head and the voice started to whisper you suck go home, I busted out laughing! I looked like a fool. But someday I will be able to rock those bad boys!!

 I always do my best not to overwhelm myself with too much fit trauma. I know my emotions well enough to know that I will go into shut down mode. So now that I feel I have my fitness in control it is time to knock the diet into check. 

First off, I do not have a bad diet. Yet, I do not have a clean one either. 

My main issues lie in:

Carbs (the wrong kind and the wrong time)

Not enough protein

Most times not enough food

(My maintain calorie intake is 1885, I have a bad habit of getting busy and not eating enough

I always get over 1200 it's the area between there and the 1885 that is fuzzy!)

So 9 weeks of clean eating here I come. I am digging deeper into my macro intake. It's a long scary process, I am still a tad lost but I will figure it out eventually.

My greatest accomplishment will be kicking sweet tea.

 It is my worst addiction! Just had my last one and I am already missing it ha ha :)

I have my supplements all lined out.

Food prepped for a couple days

Measurements taken (No WEIGHT, NO SCALES)

However, I did stand on the scale and let the trainer see it but not me so he could redo my BMI & BF%

I will try to post an update with all that info tomorrow!

I want to know..
What is your favorite CLEAN recipe.
Email me, tag me on instagram, facebook, or comment below!

Happy Chasing..

H

I am a Warrior..

I am taking advantage of a snow day to catch up on some blogging since I am behind a couple months! I added in a little soundtrack music to this blog! If your not a metal fan, you probably just want to read on instead of hitting play! 

So my last post of.. This is why I squat. 

Since I got a gym membership in October, I have been steadily gaining about 2 lbs a month so I am avoiding the scale because as I have mentioned in the past I am a junkie of the scale. Obsessed with the numbers on it. After having been on a weight loss journey for so long, I had told myself that becoming fit I would be ok as the scale went up. Dear GOD, was that a lie I told myself! When I hit 125 I have a complete meltdown, I avoided the weight rack for days doing nothing but cardio! So I am doing my very very best to avoid that stupid scale. I know my waist is not getting bigger, however putting my skinny jeans on is becoming a task as my thighs are getting bigger. I add that is BIGGER not THICKER! So until they rip out I just do the bend and snap to get them up :)

Here is my photo progress from January's challenge. I squatted almost every day that month whether it was sumo,kettle bell, bar, or dumbbell.

On to next topic! 

The most important. March marks Endometriosis awareness month.

• Approximately 176 million women and girls worldwide suffer from endometriosis; 8.5 million in North America alone.
• Associated costs of the disease are estimated to be a staggering $22 billion annually.
• The average woman is 27 when she is first diagnosed with endometriosis.
• Endometriosis is one of the top three causes of female infertility. While it is one of the most treatable, it remains the least treated. 
• I tried not to add gooey ugly actual photo's because you get enough looking at my photos! I don't want to scare you off completely! To put it in simple terms those little spots turn into gum on a sidewalk on a hot day, it sticks to everything it comes in contact with. Every dot, every stick brings immense pain. Much like gum it's almost impossible to get it all off. Getting it cut out sometimes leads to massive regrowth!

It also marks 9 months since my hystorectomy due to my endometriosis complications. 99% of my blog is fitness/health related. I do try not to open the emotional pandora's box that is me too often. Being an endo suffer I have had to come to terms with things I never imagined I would have.  That's a pity party I am choosing not to have today. Because today I am an EndoWarrior! There are obviously major downsides to making the choice to have a hysterectomy but my quality of life has improved because of it. There are also bad days, downsides, and small regrets. But nothing I wouldn't do over again. My body had already waged a war against me that I had battled for years and I was losing. So I don't see it as waving the white flag, more along the lines of dropping a nuclear bomb. Here is my 9 month post op photo. Scars are mostly faded, earlier my Dr. had thought two were going to Keloid but my plastic surgeon tells me they are just being stubborn but will turn out ok in the end! I have gone from dragging myself to the gym 3 days a week to begging for it 5-6 days a week. It's my stress reliever, the one time a day I get to focus solely on me and me alone. I am an addict. If I have to be addicted to something, at least it is my health!

Onto what's next. I am looking for a new program. I completed 4 weeks of the #fitfreakproject and it wasn't doing it for me so I am searching for something else. I have also agreed to go clean the week after spring break. I am probably 80% clean eater. I ALWAYS stay in my calorie range for the day but I could stand to improve how I consume those calories. I also know there is too much stress in my life right now to even think of setting myself up for failure. I really should look for a custom program because I can't see paying money for an online training program created for "everyone" because I am definitely not "everyone".

Happy Reading..

Believe in yourself, if you can't no one else will either! 

January Challenge-This is why I Squat!

Before I get into the squatting! If exercising on a regular basis is completely foreign to you here are some things I think you should know!

1. If you are a woman, you are obsessed with the number on the scale. It's something in our genetics that makes us go crazy over it. "The scale lies" is a common term used in the fitness world. Which isn't completely accurate in my opinion. The scale doesn't lie, but no two scales are the same and the scale doesn't know the whole truth. Weight fluctuates throughout the day and week. The scale doesn't tell us if the number is due to water retention, bloating, swollen muscle or any of the things that can make the scale move. If your starting a new eating routine your body can freak out and do all sorts of stuff! So if you are going to be a scale junkie weigh in during the same time frame and same circumstances.

2.If you insist on using scales, you also must use a tape measure! I would recommend strictly using just a tape measure but in true junkie fashion I know half of you have already been on the scale today! Inches unlike the scale know what's up! Losing inches is what is going to get you into the smaller clothes anyway. Measure everywhere (knowing that you lost 5 inches in your thighs will excite the heck out of you) Here is a link that guides on measuring :http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/fitness_articles.asp?id=1281

3.Eating too little is as harmful as eating too much! I can't count the times I have heard "Well I am only eating 700 calories a day and can't lose any weight." Well friends that is because your body is PISSED off at you for starving it so everything you put into your body it is holding on to it for dear life, storing it up for winter....right in your....gut!! You have to push past 1,200 calories before you will start to burn. If your over 200 lbs. you probably need more like 1,400 as a minimum! I do recommend My Fitness Pal to track your food intake. However, their take on fitness and burning calories is a JOKE!

4. Take pictures, even if no one but you sees them. One day you will be happy to have them to look back on. I didn't dare show my pictures to the world until I was comfortable with what I looked like. It's hard to see progress in a mirror day in and day out. Take a beginning photo, one week, and then maybe once a month after that. It works best if you have someone else take it. Dress in what you feel appropriate in.

I hope that addresses some of the questions I got off my last post. Now onto the fitness challenge of the month.. SQUATS!!

In strength training, the squat is a compound, full body exercise that trains primarily the muscles of the thighs, hips andbuttocks, quads (vastus lateralus medialis and intermedius), hamstrings, as well as strengthening the bones, ligamentsand insertion of the tendons throughout the lower body. Squats are considered a vital exercise for increasing the strength and size of the legs and buttocks, as well as developing core strength. Isometrically, the lower back, the upper back, theabdominals, the trunk muscles, the costal muscles, and the shoulders and arms are all essential to the exercise and thus are trained when squatting with the proper form.^[1]

In case you had no clue what a squat was. There is the official answer!  There are so many variations of the squat it would be hard to do all of them so I chose the top 3 I could find for this month's challenge!

I will also be going up in weight every week. Also 36 is a lot to do at once so I broke it apart a bit.  Goal for me is to squat more than my body weight all across the board! Never be afraid to modify for what works for you. Don't let someone else's ability intimidate you into hurting yourself. You will end up at home on the couch instead of at the gym! If your really a newbie: Start with body weight squats! Use the Internet to find proper form for a workout if you don't know it. You don't have to look like a fool at the gym thanks to modern technology. I really like bodybuilding.com they will show you a workout and workouts that do similar things in case you don't have access to exactly what the video has! I am posting a link to their site in case you want to look around and try it out!

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/bbmaintrain.htm

That being said.. It is time to take my vitamins, drink my pre-workout, and take my butt to the gym!

Happy Squatting Everyone- Next Month is the Plank Challenge!!