Clean it up

I was reading a blog about pushing past your greatest obstacles. I know without a doubt that my greatest obstacles are my emotions. There are days when I let them rule me and everything in my life.  I am always my worst critic and never my greatest supporter.

   How do I push past that?

Well I don't know yet but I am going to give it everything I have to do it.

Tomorrow marks 9 weeks until our summer break. I have been killing myself in the gym every free second of time I have the past couple weeks. I have finally fallen in love with the gym. Don't get me wrong, I still don't like the workout. However, I love to let all the tension, stress, and daily yuck out! It is an instant mood improver. Aside from being a working mom, I am an oilfield mom which means for weeks at a time I am a single parent and not by choice. 

So sweating it out keeps mommy a little closer to sanity! 

It took months to get over my gym fear. I know so many of us avoid it because we are afraid;of being judged, of not knowing what to do, or flat out insecurity. I was all of the above, some I still am.

My solutions to gym fears:

• Get through the door it's the hardest part. 

• Ear buds, drown out the outside world and focus on you. Eventually you will find you don't need to.

• Get a buddy, this to me has been the most beneficial thing. Someone to help you stay on task, commiserate with,celebrate with and bounce ideas off.

• Make sure it is someone with the same goal set in mind as you. I am pretty sure my gymrat buddy keeps me going long after my head says go home! Even though she runs circles around me.

• Ask! Don't be afraid to ask people questions. Most gym goers are happy to give input even if they look like a douche-canoe!

• Most importantly- laugh at yourself! Example:Yesterday my set called for single arm machine preacher curls. I couldn't even lift the bar let alone add weight to it. As those creepy failure thoughts crept into my head and the voice started to whisper you suck go home, I busted out laughing! I looked like a fool. But someday I will be able to rock those bad boys!!

 I always do my best not to overwhelm myself with too much fit trauma. I know my emotions well enough to know that I will go into shut down mode. So now that I feel I have my fitness in control it is time to knock the diet into check. 

First off, I do not have a bad diet. Yet, I do not have a clean one either. 

My main issues lie in:

Carbs (the wrong kind and the wrong time)

Not enough protein

Most times not enough food

(My maintain calorie intake is 1885, I have a bad habit of getting busy and not eating enough

I always get over 1200 it's the area between there and the 1885 that is fuzzy!)

So 9 weeks of clean eating here I come. I am digging deeper into my macro intake. It's a long scary process, I am still a tad lost but I will figure it out eventually.

My greatest accomplishment will be kicking sweet tea.

 It is my worst addiction! Just had my last one and I am already missing it ha ha :)

I have my supplements all lined out.

Food prepped for a couple days

Measurements taken (No WEIGHT, NO SCALES)

However, I did stand on the scale and let the trainer see it but not me so he could redo my BMI & BF%

I will try to post an update with all that info tomorrow!

I want to know..
What is your favorite CLEAN recipe.
Email me, tag me on instagram, facebook, or comment below!

Happy Chasing..

H

I am a Warrior..

I am taking advantage of a snow day to catch up on some blogging since I am behind a couple months! I added in a little soundtrack music to this blog! If your not a metal fan, you probably just want to read on instead of hitting play! 

So my last post of.. This is why I squat. 

Since I got a gym membership in October, I have been steadily gaining about 2 lbs a month so I am avoiding the scale because as I have mentioned in the past I am a junkie of the scale. Obsessed with the numbers on it. After having been on a weight loss journey for so long, I had told myself that becoming fit I would be ok as the scale went up. Dear GOD, was that a lie I told myself! When I hit 125 I have a complete meltdown, I avoided the weight rack for days doing nothing but cardio! So I am doing my very very best to avoid that stupid scale. I know my waist is not getting bigger, however putting my skinny jeans on is becoming a task as my thighs are getting bigger. I add that is BIGGER not THICKER! So until they rip out I just do the bend and snap to get them up :)

Here is my photo progress from January's challenge. I squatted almost every day that month whether it was sumo,kettle bell, bar, or dumbbell.

On to next topic! 

The most important. March marks Endometriosis awareness month.

• Approximately 176 million women and girls worldwide suffer from endometriosis; 8.5 million in North America alone.
• Associated costs of the disease are estimated to be a staggering $22 billion annually.
• The average woman is 27 when she is first diagnosed with endometriosis.
• Endometriosis is one of the top three causes of female infertility. While it is one of the most treatable, it remains the least treated. 
• I tried not to add gooey ugly actual photo's because you get enough looking at my photos! I don't want to scare you off completely! To put it in simple terms those little spots turn into gum on a sidewalk on a hot day, it sticks to everything it comes in contact with. Every dot, every stick brings immense pain. Much like gum it's almost impossible to get it all off. Getting it cut out sometimes leads to massive regrowth!

It also marks 9 months since my hystorectomy due to my endometriosis complications. 99% of my blog is fitness/health related. I do try not to open the emotional pandora's box that is me too often. Being an endo suffer I have had to come to terms with things I never imagined I would have.  That's a pity party I am choosing not to have today. Because today I am an EndoWarrior! There are obviously major downsides to making the choice to have a hysterectomy but my quality of life has improved because of it. There are also bad days, downsides, and small regrets. But nothing I wouldn't do over again. My body had already waged a war against me that I had battled for years and I was losing. So I don't see it as waving the white flag, more along the lines of dropping a nuclear bomb. Here is my 9 month post op photo. Scars are mostly faded, earlier my Dr. had thought two were going to Keloid but my plastic surgeon tells me they are just being stubborn but will turn out ok in the end! I have gone from dragging myself to the gym 3 days a week to begging for it 5-6 days a week. It's my stress reliever, the one time a day I get to focus solely on me and me alone. I am an addict. If I have to be addicted to something, at least it is my health!

Onto what's next. I am looking for a new program. I completed 4 weeks of the #fitfreakproject and it wasn't doing it for me so I am searching for something else. I have also agreed to go clean the week after spring break. I am probably 80% clean eater. I ALWAYS stay in my calorie range for the day but I could stand to improve how I consume those calories. I also know there is too much stress in my life right now to even think of setting myself up for failure. I really should look for a custom program because I can't see paying money for an online training program created for "everyone" because I am definitely not "everyone".

Happy Reading..

Believe in yourself, if you can't no one else will either! 

January Challenge-This is why I Squat!

Before I get into the squatting! If exercising on a regular basis is completely foreign to you here are some things I think you should know!

1. If you are a woman, you are obsessed with the number on the scale. It's something in our genetics that makes us go crazy over it. "The scale lies" is a common term used in the fitness world. Which isn't completely accurate in my opinion. The scale doesn't lie, but no two scales are the same and the scale doesn't know the whole truth. Weight fluctuates throughout the day and week. The scale doesn't tell us if the number is due to water retention, bloating, swollen muscle or any of the things that can make the scale move. If your starting a new eating routine your body can freak out and do all sorts of stuff! So if you are going to be a scale junkie weigh in during the same time frame and same circumstances.

2.If you insist on using scales, you also must use a tape measure! I would recommend strictly using just a tape measure but in true junkie fashion I know half of you have already been on the scale today! Inches unlike the scale know what's up! Losing inches is what is going to get you into the smaller clothes anyway. Measure everywhere (knowing that you lost 5 inches in your thighs will excite the heck out of you) Here is a link that guides on measuring :http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/fitness_articles.asp?id=1281

3.Eating too little is as harmful as eating too much! I can't count the times I have heard "Well I am only eating 700 calories a day and can't lose any weight." Well friends that is because your body is PISSED off at you for starving it so everything you put into your body it is holding on to it for dear life, storing it up for winter....right in your....gut!! You have to push past 1,200 calories before you will start to burn. If your over 200 lbs. you probably need more like 1,400 as a minimum! I do recommend My Fitness Pal to track your food intake. However, their take on fitness and burning calories is a JOKE!

4. Take pictures, even if no one but you sees them. One day you will be happy to have them to look back on. I didn't dare show my pictures to the world until I was comfortable with what I looked like. It's hard to see progress in a mirror day in and day out. Take a beginning photo, one week, and then maybe once a month after that. It works best if you have someone else take it. Dress in what you feel appropriate in.

I hope that addresses some of the questions I got off my last post. Now onto the fitness challenge of the month.. SQUATS!!

In strength training, the squat is a compound, full body exercise that trains primarily the muscles of the thighs, hips andbuttocks, quads (vastus lateralus medialis and intermedius), hamstrings, as well as strengthening the bones, ligamentsand insertion of the tendons throughout the lower body. Squats are considered a vital exercise for increasing the strength and size of the legs and buttocks, as well as developing core strength. Isometrically, the lower back, the upper back, theabdominals, the trunk muscles, the costal muscles, and the shoulders and arms are all essential to the exercise and thus are trained when squatting with the proper form.^[1]

In case you had no clue what a squat was. There is the official answer!  There are so many variations of the squat it would be hard to do all of them so I chose the top 3 I could find for this month's challenge!

I will also be going up in weight every week. Also 36 is a lot to do at once so I broke it apart a bit.  Goal for me is to squat more than my body weight all across the board! Never be afraid to modify for what works for you. Don't let someone else's ability intimidate you into hurting yourself. You will end up at home on the couch instead of at the gym! If your really a newbie: Start with body weight squats! Use the Internet to find proper form for a workout if you don't know it. You don't have to look like a fool at the gym thanks to modern technology. I really like bodybuilding.com they will show you a workout and workouts that do similar things in case you don't have access to exactly what the video has! I am posting a link to their site in case you want to look around and try it out!

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/bbmaintrain.htm

That being said.. It is time to take my vitamins, drink my pre-workout, and take my butt to the gym!

Happy Squatting Everyone- Next Month is the Plank Challenge!!

Who said the "F" word?

Let's talk about the worst word in the English language. The "F" word, and by that I mean FAT! The word every woman despises and the word that bites like a bullet to the heart when thrown at you!
If you haven't ever read my blog before let me help you out so you aren't reading back 45 post for this to make sense. I used to be a Fluffy girl, I am 5'6" on a good day and my heaviest non prego ranged in upwards of 200 lbs. My scales went up and down frequently through the past 11 years until August of 2011 when I decided I had enough of hating myself. Ta-Da that pretty much brings us to today. I by NO means consider my self fit or even toned. I am a skinny work in progress! Pics on the left are that day in August and pics on the right are me 21 weeks post 95% Hysterectomy due to Endometriosis

 Now I didn't start this post to toot my own horn. If you know me you would know there is very little tooting in my world. I like most every woman on planet earth have terrible self esteem/self image! I started writing this because it is the diet industries "HUNTING" season. Every where you go there is an ad, commercial, or some person trying to shove their idea of the quick fix down your throat. So, I wanted to share some of my miraculous in sites into this.
A. There are a million different products out there that will help you get to where you want to be. The only thing I wouldn't recommend is a quick fix pill. Their are shakes, oatmeals, cereals,drinks, frozen this and that, coffee's, teas, the list goes on and on and probably 8 out of 10 of them will work....IF YOU WORK WITH IT! In other words, be consistent. Find something that taste good,doesn't make you feel lousy and doesn't break the bank. If it is nasty and gives you the jitters you won't make it past February 1st neither will your checking account!
B. Don't let someone talk you into something because it worked for them. Every body is different for everybody! Speak to someone who knows what they are talking about if you have questions about calorie and protein intake. GOOGLE AND MY FITNESS PAL ARE NOT A VALID SOURCE OF INFORMATION!
C. Know your own level of dedication. For instance: When I started if you told me I had to go to a gym 5 to 6 days a week I never would have followed through. Some people can cold turkey the couch life and some can not. I was a total NOT. Now that being said I can totally do that now, but I have learned enough to know what I can and can not do. What works for me and what doesn't. If I want to indulge in the Holiday yummies I am going to sweat it out and the gym! I didn't have that much self control when I started. Body by Vi worked great for me, it gave me options but in a spectrum I could handle. Now if you can jump off the couch and cold turkey off junk and booze and bread well GOOD FOR YOU, You are way better than me!

Moral of the story is, don't set out to lose weight. Set out to get healthy, you will lose those pounds in the process and end up in a much happier place for it. Don't believe something is a miracle because the only thing that is going to save you is you! You don't have to stick to one companies product line! Mixing and Matching is great for me. I use 3 different kinds of Protein powder. I have used assorted metab. boosters, pre-workouts, and vitamins. (P.S. take your vitamins) If you love Herbalife tea, but prefer something else from Plexus or advocare or BBVI or shakeology or.. see this could go on forever then by all means take it! Last but certainly not least. DO NOT wait until January 1st. Be aware of what you are eating and the physical activity you have right now. Of course we are going to over-do it for Christmas dinner. Just don't pack on an extra 40 lbs between now and then! If you are serious about getting into those smaller pants than be serious right now not just next week.

Happy Holiday's Fitfam
Remember the reason for the season and to spend time with your loved ones.
Becoming a healthy-happy you will give you much more time here with them!

Moore Strong..Moore Surviving..

 I wanted to take a moment to address some of you and your lack of knowledge on what happened in Moore on Monday. That and writing when I am angry calms the storm!

To those who say you had no warning: Do you live under a rock? The meteorologist had called for days for a bad weather situation on Sunday & Monday. I listened to Brad Sowder on channel 5 REPEATEDLY say unless you have to do not travel after 2 p.m.

 To those who say the Moore School district was in the wrong by not releasing early like others did: 

I volunteer 90% of my spare time in the school my kids attend. I've been in the school during all of the drills they run from intruder to tornado's. They are never taken lightly.

I got to the school at 10 a.m. Monday morning and the office was already buzzing with phone calls of weather related needs. I always cringe for those two amazing ladies who funnel calls for 750+ concerned families. 6th grade graduation was set for that evening and a meeting for cancellations of district activity was already underway. At this point making a speech was the cause of anxiety!! If I only knew bad was going to go to worse real quickly.  The two secretaries and principals were preparing for the worst even when it was nice without a cloud in the sky.

 It was also made clear to any parent inquiring that if you wanted your child at home it was excused. By 1:45 the first storm had formed near Lawton. Parents began to swarm the office to pick up children so myself along with two of my board members did the best we could do to assist in getting kids out.  At 2:39 the district sent a message saying school would not be released pending the storms progress. Can you imagine if the kids would have been walking home or on a bus? When the first sirens rang we funneled angry parents to safety as quickly as we could. I watched parents yell at school staff about taking their children into the storm as if that was the safer option.

 The sirens shut down and the hail came, silly me thought we were out of the heat..false alarm again. Yet, some people chose to leave at that time. I remember walking to get Bailey from his class and sitting him down next to Brody and telling him no matter what to hold his hand. I walked back into the hall as Dr. Perez instructed to bring all the classes into the interior rooms, so the whole school went into the 1st and 3rd rooms. I went in and sat on the floor next to my children. I sat there next to kids I've had play at my house, teacher's who were more concerned about making sure your children were safe than getting to their own children. As the office staff came in our room I knew the live stream(Damon Lane whom lives close to us) on the computer must have given them a reason to leave the post they had stood so bravely for the past few hours. Shortly the power went out, I expected a room full of 1st & 2nd graders to be full of screams. Not at all they sat quiet as a mouse, just like practice one girl said to me. I remember thinking my kids were just far enough away I couldn't touch them and that at a moments notice I would throw myself over these 4 kids to keep them safe and get across my own. As the roar of the tornado came all I remember hearing was dear God please keep us safe and a mom with two small kids prayed behind me as Ms. Stafford told her to lay over the littlest one in the calmest voice I have ever heard! In my mind I was ready to scream how were these teachers so calm and prepared there was a tornado close enough to us we could hear it.  That noise seemed like it lasted for an eternity I don't get the whole freight train sound. I can't describe that noise but the minute I heard it I knew what it was. Then it was gone and you could hear the rain again. 

Confusion in the masses set in after this. This had been hit, that had been hit.. No phone service.. But the staff still stuck to their protocol making sure everyone was OK and checked out before they could leave.  

 I got into my truck and attempted to head down Bryant. Once I hit the park everything I could see was gone or masked in debris. I instantly though I have no home and I have no way to get there. 

 People were walking down the road to try to get to their kids at the school. They thought we took a direct hit, I loaded up as many people as could fit and back to the school we went.  Once I finally made it home and saw it was standing and my dogs were OK I looked off my porch and knew I had friends who weren't as lucky as me. We walked the area trying to find everyone and make sure they were OK. It was all I could do to keep it together but I knew if the kids saw how terrified I was it would make it all worse. I've always been a big old baby when it came to weather and being an oilfield mom in Oklahoma I've quickly learned I best just get over it. Cause its all on me 85% of the time.

The last few days have been a blur. I don't even know what day it is. I run through every emotion on the board in an hourly manner. I just drown myself in what I can do to help my friends and family. Yet as traumatized and angry as I am. I see the outpouring of love everywhere. Do I want to pick up and move? Heck no!!! Am I scared it will happen again? Duh, but what good would it do my to camp in my storm shelter forever?

What happened anywhere that day was no ones fault. It was an act of nature. People got hurt and at the very least people got scared. So you realize what's important and how what your dealing with is nothing compared to some others. So stop pointing finger's or inappropriate jokes or statements on social media.

This happened to Us.. This is about Us...

   We survived.. We stand strong

         Together..

I typed this last night and decided to proof it this morning. In between now and then I went to the park with friends this morning and to clean up the Veteran Memorial Park. Which seems really fitting for memorial weekend. It completely humbled me to see all of our community ban together to clean up our fellow neighborhoods. It just made me feel.. HOME.. Even though Kansas is where I am from, Oklahoma today has my heart and even more my pride.  

God Bless Oklahoma!